Deeper thoughts

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 20:08:20 GMT

Today I saw the episode of Stargate SG-1 where Jack and Teal'c gets stuck in a time loop, and is forced to re-live the same day over and over again. I laughed so hard at a few situations. It feels like I can never get enough of this show. I know many people find it cheezy because of the 10-year old special effects (in the first seasons anyway) or because "MacGyver" plays one of the main characters, but I love it. I like the storyline, I like the characters and I like how every episode leaves me wanting more. I love the whole concept that our ancient gods are actually megalomaniac evil aliens with superior technology that posed as gods. Mostly Egyptian, which is almost natural since that religion is so rich with many different gods. And then you have our good old Norse mythology, which is the good guys that shared their technology with their people so they could prosper. The only weird thing is that Thor seems to be the man in charge and not Odin. I haven't seen all the seasons yet, but so far I have not heard mentions of Odin. Ok, enough rant about Stargate.

I saw The Golden Compass this weekend. I kind of wish I had saved my cash. I love the books, but this movie didn't only fail to live up to it, it failed to live up to anything at all. Daniel Craig was a mistake. I like the guy, but he was so wrong for the part of Lord Asriel. They changed the story, moving the middle section to the end, and most of the ending to the middle. And then they cut away the ending climax entirely. What the hell? Where did the ending go? No dramatic revelation of Asriel's plans and the actions he takes to et a step closer? When the movie ended I was left thinking "Wait! Wha..?" Daniel has never read the books himself, and he was only left with a lot of questions, because the movie didn't explain half the things that were happening. Has anyone else seen it, and what are your reactions?

Finally, I put out a videoclip on my schoolblog with a little project we had. We were going to work together with students from the other classes at school and make a trailer for an imagined movie. Me and Daniel were going to make a "Scene Extension" (I don't know what the right term is in English..). So some students from TV-production found a location, that turned out to be an abandoned factory, and filmed a short clip in there. Me and Daniel were to place 3D objects in the clip so that the area got a more creepy mood. This was the first time we did something like this on our own (we had only learned a bit about it in a lecture) and we got a lot of good feedback. The video turned out very dark when I posted it on the blog, but it might just be my screen that is weird. If you find it hard to see it, and are interested, just drop me a line and I'll see if I can post it somewhere else or just transfer you the file. I'm very proud of what we managed to do.
http://icebuncle.blogg.no/1197884894_sceneutvidelse.html is the link to the post. The video is a bit dark for some reason, and a bit laggy. The objects we placed in is: The chains, hooks, barrels, columns and the vaulve. The blog is in Norwegian.

All those blogs!

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 14:23:15 GMT

Today at school we had a whole day dedicated to blogging. No I'm not kidding. Two guys that runs a Norwegian blog-site came here and had a long lecture to teach us how to blog. Only a very few of us students had actually ever blogged (I almost felt like a veteran, after all I have been blogging since I was 16, with a few breaks here and there).
The point is that we had to make a blog at our school's web page. We're going to use it to show our work and such to other students and teachers. Good idea indeed. The only problem is that everything on there is in Norwegian, and I don't really like to blog in Norwegian. The blog is also quite restricted, unlike LJ that has a lot of wonderful options for customization. The whole thing made me feel like coming back here and do my blogging, even if there are only 3 people reading it right now (that I know of anyway).
So now I have 3 blogs.. This one, the one on GameSpot (that one is very restricted too, but at least I get to blog about gaming in a community that actually cares), and now the school related one. I'll make links for it here on the page.
So if you're all interested, you can check what projects I have been working on. I know a few of you have asked to see some of the work, but I've been too lazy to actually do something about it. Shame on me, I know..

Well, so I guess I'm back ^_^ The ones of you still reading, I'd love it if you would drop a comment and tell me how you are doing. Thanks!

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 16:08:20 GMT

So I haven't posted here in a while.. I seems all my rl friends have stopped using LJ, and so it seems like talking to a wall when I write here. I might start writing here again if I learn that someone is still using it, or actually reads what I write.
Right now I'm spending my time on Gamespot. I have just started a little blog over there for those who are interested (but I doubt it will ever be as personal and deep as this one). The link is http://uk.gamespot.com/users/Icebuncle/
Most of my time at school, when I have nothing else to do goes to browse that site, write on the forums and such. It's weird because before I felt like blogging ever so often but since this summer it has just kind of died. As far as I know no one reads here anymore (except Valpy, but I talk to you so often on msn that you basically know everything that's happening in my life). Mi-chan is on facebook, Dimple doesn't use LJ.. I don't think Michelle or Sorrow does either. William read it before, don't know if he'd start again.. Oh, and Trygve had a go at this too, but that didn't last very long. I don't think there we're anyone else.

Anyway the bottom line is that I don't really know what will happen to this place. I just guess I'll see what my friends say. If there is no interest anyway, then I don't see the point in starting to blog here again.

On a final note, I'd just like to say that I'm doing well and I'm very happy with my life now. I'm still studying 3D and I'm wondering about studying special effects in movies after the summer, but nothing is decided yet. Me and Daniel are now living together and we are as happy now as we were when we first got together. We want to get kittens when we are done studying ^^

Woho!

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 14:04:49 GMT

Oh happy day! Well, the day itself is rather average, but I got some great news today. Me and Daniel finally have a place to live next year!! It's such a nice place. A little more expensive than what we were hoping to find, but it seems to be worth it. And we even have a guest room if someone wants to visit *hint hint* It's only 250 meters from the school too! So now we don't have to walk for 30 minutes to get to my place. I'm so excited! I can't wait to live with Daniel. I was so worried that we wouldn't find anything, or had to settle for something we didn't want (like sharing with other people, or living far away from school). Now I can relax all summer, instead of feeling stressed about not knowing where to live. At least after tomorrow, when I have signed the contract.

I feel a bit alone now though. Sonja went home to Bergen today, so now she has officially moved out. Daniel is in Larvik, doing some work for his father before going to Bergen. So I'm alone in this big appartment for a few days.. It's sort of weird. It has this empty feeling to it. And all my stuff is packed into boxes (except a few things I need to survive the next days). I'm looking forward to coming home to my friends and family now.. I miss all of you!

Oh, I've seen all episodes of Heroes now. I loves it! Sylar is a hot piece of... hotness. I thought he was kinda cute when he was Adam in 24, but all he really did there was to mope around and being bitchy because of his issues with Kim. But then he puts on his evil smirk in Heroes and I'm sold. In the two last episodes he looked so fine with his trenchcoat-thingie and fluffy hair. Peter was hot with the scar in his face, but he was so whimpy in the rest of the series. "I can't think for myself, I need my brother to approve everything!" But his style in those scenes.. The scar, the trenchcoat, his sleek hair and cold attitude and that he was very sure of himself made him pretty hot in those few scenes. And then it was back to uncertain, whining Peter again. Give back scarface Peter!

I have a trenchcoat fetish. Men wearing long coats have a different kind of presence that makes me feel all happy inside. In just the right way. Hell, I even thought Nicholas Cage had a sexy style in the first part of Face/Off, and he is ugly! It was all the coat (and shirt). More men should wear coats.

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 11:13:27 GMT

Ok, so I registered on Facebook.. Basicly just to try it out. See what the fuss is all about. It's free, so I won't loose anything by trying. The whole "find contacts" thing just confused me though, and suddenly there was looong list of people in my msn list that it had sent invites to without my permission. So I'm sorry about that, I know how annoying it is to get spammed like that. (And I think some people I don't want on my friendslist has gotten invites too.. Shit..)

Today is the second last day at school. It's a bit weird. Sweet that it's soon summer holiday, but sad that I won't get to see some of these people again (I think). Also, me and Daniel got really bummed out yesterday when we suddenly got the news that we didn't get the appartment that we thought we had, because the bastard landlord rented it to someone else. Long story, but he gave it to someone else even though he said to us that we would get it if we said yes within the week. And we did. So now we have looked online for a new place but there doesn't seem to be anything that fits us at all, and those that fit are already taken. This sucks. I'm so angry at the landlord.. How can you treat people like that? He must be a complete idiot!

We started watching Heroes. It's insanely good. Have already seen 16 or 18 episodes. I was so happy that the bad guy's name was Gabriel. I looove that name. And he's kinda cute (his eyes are very pretty). Peter looks like a guy in my class. But I think the whole Niki story is very out of place and half boring. But I guess it all comes together in the end. I recommend the show to everyone.

I'll be back in Bergen in about one week. I can't wait to meet everyone again! I'll be there all of July, so I'll have time to meet most people again (I will be working too).

Summer!

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 11:12:24 GMT

The semester stress ended last monday. We had to turn in our assignment on friday, so the weekend was open for relaxation. Not that I could totally relax though, because on monday we were to get our evaluation. I was so nervous, and had all these "my assignment totally suck" thoughts. On the good side, on saturday was the first day in over a month that we were able to make dinner in a normal time of the day (instead of 9-10PM). We bought taco, to spoil ourselves a little bit. I ate so much I almost got worried. It had been a long time since I had a decent dinner.
Monday was horrible. I was really cranky because of my nerves (poor Daniel..). But it turned out fine. I got good feedback about my organic modelling, and the concept about my fairy being a working girl and not some standard princess type. So after school on monday was heaven. It was so wonderful having time outside school, and to simply relax.
To make things even better, we finished just in time for the summer. The weather is great! Soo hot that everyone walks around sweaty, and not a cloud in sight. I was just out swimming between school hours ^^ Everything is wonderful, and soon I'm going home to Bergen to my family and friends. I can't wait!

I'm so bad at updating..

Mon, 14 May 2007 21:53:35 GMT

But I at least have a reason now. I've been soooo incredibly busy with our semester assignment. I'm at school until 19 or 20 everyday. Then it's home for dinner while watching 24 or 1 small hour of relaxing (reading or gaming) before bed. This goes for the weekends too, so sometimes I honestly don't know what day it is. Everything just blurs into each other. It's bad for my body too, especially since I hardly get to eat all day. Today I was feeling really bad. I felt like I had a fever, but I wasn't warm. Just overworked I guess.
On the bright side, I'm very happy with how things are starting to look. I'm making a fairy girl, with butterfly wings. I've gotten some good feedback from people about her anatomy. I'm almost done with her body, I just have to finish the head and put them all into one piece. Today, Martin actually put a hand on my shoulder and said that the model was turning gout nice. That actually meant something. He is very good at just about everything in 3D. He's been doing it for a while. But he has this attitude that makes it seem like he looks down on everyone that isn't as good as him. This, of course, includes newbish me. I always felt that he didn't really like me at all. But that small gesture today made me think that it probably isn't as bad as I think. Daniel once said to me that we have only known him the few months this school, so we have no idea what he has been through in his life that would give him that attitude. He had a very good point. It could be 1000 reasons, and he most likely means no harm by it.
Oh, back to the assignment, which is almost the only thing in my life now. So, I'm making this fairy. She is supposed to have a short green dress and half long red hair. So far I'm only done with the body itself. I'm done with her face too, but I need to make the rest of her head. After that I have to make the wings (which are mostly flat, so probably won't take that long) and put color on her. Then I have to make the dress and color it. Oh, and get some hair on her head. That is the part I'm sure I'll get done. I have to rig her up and pose her and make a scene for her to be in. The scene won't be big, just a bit of earth and some grass (about the same height as her). It the damn rig that will kill me. Making a skeleton for her and "program" it to move properly and then spend hours properly attach it to the body.. Oh dear me. That little part is boring too, I'll tell you that. On the bright side I only have to make the rig in one pose, which will be the final picture. It's worse when you have to rig characters for animations where it has to look good all the time, from all possible angles. I'm running out of time!
I have no idea if anyone is interested in screens of the work in progress, but if you are then I can either post some here or put up a link to it or something.

PS. I may make it sound like heavy work (which it sort of is) but I love to see the result of my efforts so it's not all bad ^^

PS part 2. It seems everyone around me has Facebook these days, and I feel the pressure to get one myself just to stay connected to everyone. And I get invites in my mail ever so often. But I don't know what the fuss is about.. Anyone has Facebook or any thoughts about the matter?

Yay!

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 09:00:29 GMT

Which Silent Hill Character are You?

You are... Harry Mason (from Silent Hill)!
Take this quiz!

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Gaming rambling

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 13:46:11 GMT

Playstation 3 is released in Europe today. But I honestly can't say I care very much. Sony has been treating European gamers in a very bad way the last year or so. We get the PS3 at a higher price than everyone else. And with less compatibility with PS1 and 2 games. And it was supposed to be out in November last year, but suddenly we had to wait until March. The price in itself insane. 6000 kr! And if you are going to buy a game or two, or a second controller, you're easily looking at about 7000kr. Technically I can afford it. I saved money after my birthday for a PS3 and Wii. I got money for a Wii for Christmas. But I seriously don't want a PS3. There is no games I would want to play on it coming anytime soon. Well, some, but they will also be released for Xbox 360, so I can just borrow that from Daniel. I know I will be buying a PS3 someday. But there are only 3 reasons: Silent Hill (oh the love I have for those games), Final Fantasy (make something better than the FF12 stupidity next time, please) and Metal Gear Solid (MGS 4 looks so incredibly fantastic!). All other games has suddenly become multi-console. Even Devil May Cry and Resident Evil. It's like the game-companies knows that PS3 sells bad, and they will loose money on it. Nintendo and Microsoft are owning the arena now. Well, at least Microsoft. Wii needs more attractive games, all they have is Zelda really.

I am, however, seriosly concidering to buy a PsP. It's Sony, and that makes me not want to. They also raised the price on it by about 500kr. It's been out for, what, 2 years? And the price goes up, because of the PS3? Get a grip Sony, you're digging your own grave..
I found it cheaper, but it's still 1800kr. For a handheld console. Most stores have it for 2500+. More expensive than the Wii! It's an outrage. I hope the majority of gamers feel the same way, and that Sony gets a slap in the face.
But I need a PsP, as there is a Silent Hill coming out for it this year. And when it comes to Resident Evil and Silent Hill, I -must- have it. Fanatic fangirl, I know. But the story in those games are so amazing, I just want to read and discover more about it. I've spent hours reading SH plot guides. There are so many symbols and loose threads that actually fits together so you get this incredible puzzle of symbology in each game that is there to hint to how deep the plot actually goes. Need more RE and SH games!

Springtime!

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 19:48:07 GMT

Spring spring spring! Oh how I love it! At times like these I sometimes thing spring is my favorite season. But I'll honestly admit nothing is better than summer. Anyway, we've been living in snow and cold in almost two months, but now the sun is out on a blue sky. It's getting warmer, and most of the snow has melted away. It boosts my general spirits a lot. Yay!

And congratulations to my dad, it's his birthday today!

Oh, and people should look at my previous post. I got a comment from Dell! How about that! I'm actually impressed!

Other than that, I'm thinking a lot about this easter. Going to Bergen for only a week, and I simply don't have time to meet up with everyone I want to meet. I've been so incredibly stressed about it. The last weekend is a total mess. DeathRow (my alliance guild) meetup, my dad wants me and Daniel to be with him on Saturday, I want to spend time with Michelle AND there is a risk of there being a party. And I have no time on Sunday because we're going back to Tønsberg that day. And.. I don't want to prioritize anyone. I think I'll stop thinking about it and take things a bit as they come.. But I just won't have the time for everyone. Sorry!
And poor Daniel will just have to follow me as I stress through the weekend, meeting up with friends and family. I wub him so much ^^

Why does 24 have to be so... cliff-hangerish? Need episode 10. Now!

Update

Wed, 28 Feb 2007 13:21:55 GMT

So many things on my mind right now...
Time has gone fast as hell. As always. The last month has mostly been about the assignment at school. It went so-so. I'm just not very skilled in animation. But I did manage to get a lot done in the time, and Teacher Henning seems to like the cartoony style I sometimes give things I make.
Last week was our winter holiday. Spent it in Larvik, at Daniel's place. It was such a lazy week. He's mom made dinner and did the shopping so we basicly spent half the day sleeping and half the night gaming. And I got to meet his best friend Tomas, who was back in Larvik for the week.
I've been ill for a few days at the beginning of the holidays. Daniel was the sweetest thing ever, taking care of me and making me cocoa. I feel so incredibly loved and taken care of, and that he'll be there no matter what.
I saw The Prestige. It was great. And with yummy cast (Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman and Scarlett Johansson). I've also seen Click, Miami Vice and Slither. Slither was really funny and disgusting.
I got my Wii two days ago. About damn time, I've waited two months. It kind of kills the fun. I was all fired up about the Wii before release, and during Christmas. But now it has gone such a long time that when I finally got it it was more of a "finally, about time" than "weehee!". And there is so many games that came out now that I need to finish. I bought Okami, which I've been waiting for for years. A week later, Final Fantasy 12 was released. Both games are big. Me and Daniel bought FF12 together (our first investment together ^^) so we played that together. And now I have the new Zelda on Wii as well. Okami will probably have to wait. I love what I have played of it so far, but it just can't come before two of my beloved gameseries. Zelda was the first game I played that got me all addicted to gaming. I remember running to the nintendo to progress the story... So since I got the Wii it's been a little bit of Zelda, then a little bit FF12. Today and tomorrow Daniel will be in Larvik, so then it's all Zelda love for me. We play FF12 together after all ^^ It's so wonderful so share our big passions.
On the bad side, my AC adapter to my laptop decided it was time to die. And the battery in it isn't that big. So I'm basically without my laptop until I get the new one in the mail from Dell. And I can't use my pc because it doesn't have wireless connection. Super bah!

I'm rambling. I guess that is what happens when you have a lot on your mind at once.
Firstly, I just sent an application school. So I'm officially applying for a second year here. I feel I need it. I don't have much skill in animation. I'm actually nervous. If I don't get in, there is so many things that go bad. Me and Daniel are moving in together after the summer. And if we don't get in, then I have no idea what we are to do instead. I guess I shouldn't take my sorrows in too early.. Bah.
Secondly, dad called me last night and told me that he is moving from Anette today. It was a real bomb he dropped, I couldn't grasp it. I don't know all the details, but it's over between them. It was apparently something that had been wrong for a time. I only saw them as very in love. I mean, they even had a date for the wedding! So I'm sad on his behalf and I'm just hoping that he is ok and will manage fine. Also I started to think about me and Daniel. There's a lot of things with dad and Anette that reminded me of me and Daniel. Good things. So I got all "oh God I hope nothing bad happens so that we end up apart".
I talked a bit to Daniel about it, and it calmed me down a lot. We love each other a lot. The only thing that matters is each other. He said that he would do all he could to make sure that we were happy together. And that is true for me too. We both feel like this is better than anything we've had before. We're talking a lot about how it will be to move in together. And it's weird, I don't feel afraid of it at all. It going to be perfect, just like it is now.
And that leads me to the third thing. It's this mixed up feeling. Because I'm so happy with him and we want to spend our lives together. Grow old together. But my greatest fear is the whole "grow old and die" thing. I don't want to get old, and not be able to do anything. And to suddenly feel like I have something I want to last forever.. I don't really know how to handle it. It's two worlds colliding. I should just not think that far ahead, I guess. Enjoy all that is now. Still, is good to know that I won't be a lonely old woman in 60 years.
And the fourth thing.. My dearest Michelle. I know that she has some trouble at school and that she is having a depressing time. It kills me that I can't be there to help her in any way. I can't even give her a hug. I love her so much and I just want her home so that I can take care of her a bit and try to make her feel good again. I feel helpless here. Luckily, it's only a month to our easter-holiday. Both me and Mi-chan will be in Bergen then, so I can just hold her close a bit and give her a long good "I missed you and love you so much"- hug. I look forward to that.
And lastly, we got some information about our semester-assignment before the holidays. So I'm actually very unsure about what to do. I have a small idea about what I would like to do, but how to make it good and "impressive". I'm taking a bit inspiration from sweet Dimple ^^ So that makes it especially important that the final result is good. But we have to show off the whole process, and I didn't quite understand how. It's just to ask Henning I guess.

Well, I need to get going. Felt good to get my thoughts a bit straight though. This week we're having a very small assignment. We are to make a 1-minute movie. Not in 3D that is. Yesterday we finished our storyboard, and today it's filming time. My group is making a cheezy martial arts showdown. Problem is that Nico, Sindre and Martin is not very including, so I basically have nothing to do.. Bah.. I'll try to make the best of it...

Stole from Valpy

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 10:32:53 GMT

The Detailed Starship Quiz

LiveJournal Username

Spaceship Name

Spaceship Size

How is the spaceship piloted?

How is the spaceship powered?

What's the upholstery like on the seats?

How do you see outside the spaceship?

What's the spaceship's primary purpose?

What's the Captain's catchphrase?

Main Weapon System:

Laser Array

Main Defensive System:

Energy Shield

Chance of catastrophic failure at critical moments

47%

Voice of the ship's computer:

terugue

Finds mandatory uniform unflattering:

liki

Looks sexy in mandatory uniform:

silithluth

Ripped sleeves off mandatory uniform:

benkestok

Spends an unhealthy amount of time in the weapons locker:

benkestok

This Fun Quiz created by Akhmed at BlogQuiz.Net

Libra Horoscope at DailyHoroscopes.Biz

I had to laugh a bit at Benkestok (Holm). I can imagine him doing that very easily ^^ And Silith would probably look sexy no matter what she had on..

Winter wonderland

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 16:39:42 GMT

Right now I'm at school. On a Sunday. I'm supposed to work with our current assignment that I feel I've been putting on hold for so long. It's one of those "I know what I'm going to do, I just don't feel like doing it" things. I'm so totally uninspired.
This past week has been a lot about World of Warcraft. I guess that is only natural, since The Burning Crusade was released. I ordered my Collectors Edition in early November. But suddenly a lot of people on the official forum started talking about them getting mails from places they had preordered the CE telling them that they wasn't able to get enough copies for everyone. So I got this slight panic that I wouldn't get mine and totally stressed about it. But I got it in the mail on the 16th. So now I'm playing on a new Blood Elf with Daniel and the new guild. The guild is growing fast, so it looks promising. I have to admit that a lot of my lack of inspiration has to do with my desire to game.. Or so I think. And a couple of the guys in class + 3D animation is considering to start playing with us.
I'm a bit worried though. I hope that TBC won't be taking so much over that it will hurt me and Daniel's relationship. I don't think it will, because we will spend a lot of time together in real life, but I'm still a bit uneasy. I've seen several relationships get hurt because of Wow and I really don't want that to happen to us.

It's started snowing over here now. It snows, then it rains, and then it snows again. It's so damn cold in the apartment. And it very windy so it's almost impossible to use an umbrella when walking outside. It's nice in a way that it actually got cold enough to be snowing. I mean that our environment and temperatures and such isn't totally fucked up. I just wish I lived closer to school so I didn't have to walk an hour in it everyday.
Dad and Anette was here this weekend. Or, Anette had bought a new car that they were going to pick up somewhere nearby so they took the trip to Tønsberg. They arrived late friday, so us three and Daniel went out to get some dinner together. Then they dropped by my apartment for a little while on saturday before they started their long drive home. They had to drive quite a detour because of the weather. They both seemed to get a good first impression of Daniel, or so they said, and thats so wonderful!
Oh well, I should try to get something useful done here.. Even though I really don't feel like it. *sigh*

Back in Tønsberg again!

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 23:17:13 GMT

And it feels so great! I did my best to just get through some of the stuff back in Bergen, but dad was moody towards me because he was annoyed with me being in a low mood. New years eve was good. First a dinner at home with dad, Anette, Lindy and Robin and then I went to a party. We weren't that many people there, but I knew just about everyone. It was great to just get away from the big family "mess" and not think about it. I was really tired when I got up the next day.. But I had prepared for my trip and packed my bags the day before so that I could sleep longer.
That day was mostly all about getting on the plane and get back to Daniel. It actually went by fast. I got up, hit the shower, got dressed and closed my bags up. Then a quick breakfast before dad drove me to the airport. Got there just in time (typical) so went to check-in and such at once. The planetrip took about an hour, which went by faster than I thought. I suspected that I would be falling asleep through the whole thing, but instead I spoke with Sonja about this and that. Which was a lot nicer. When the flight finally touched down, I had butterflies in my stomack. And the feeling of seeing him waiting there and being able to feel his arms around me again.. It's undescribable. Simply amazing. I felt like I was whole again.
School started again yesterday. After a holiday with staying up half the night and sleeping half the day, me and Daniel ended up with only two hours of sleep. We didn't feel as wrecked as we thought we would, but I was so tired at times. Despite the tiredness, getting back to school was great. The crazy people, the subject in general.. Feeling like I was back. Getting back to the appartment was sweet too. I think it was a bit because I felt so out on the sideline in Bergen, that going back to this life is a big relief from the small depression I got back there. Here, I'm far away from it and can just not think about it. Plus that being around Daniel gives me instant happiness and raises my general joy and spirit up through the ceiling.
I ordered a Nintendo Wii yesterday, so I will get it sometime during this month. I also ordered the new Zelda game, and I am really looking forward to trying it! Ordered StarFox and Mario Kart for my DS as well. StarFox because I loved the N64 game so much, and Mario Kart mostly to play with Daniel. Oh, yes, I got him a DS for christmas so we've been having Tetris showdowns. So fun, and I totally own him. Mwahaha! So there goes the money I got for christmas. I have to live very poorly this month because we have to pay the rest of the schoolbill. 55 000NOK. Oh yes.. So these weekends will be relaxing ones filled with gaming and films, with my love at my side. I can't wait ^_^
I am looking forward to so much when it comes to Daniel. I don't know what exactly. Just.. everyday. Our future. Being happy together always. I look forward to play games with him, and to the time when it will be just the two of us. As long as he is with me, it will be great. We're totally high on each other, smiling big like idiots all the time. I feel like hugging him all the time. When he is not around I feel like a part of me is missing. We never run out of things to talk about. And as stated before, the whole "ok, what to do today?" isn't there. Jus being around each other is great, because we are such good friends and have so much in common that just talking together is fun. There's lots of laughter and internal jokes. I got all giggly because he now has a toothbrush at my place. It kinda felt like a step towards something bigger. I've never had something like this before.
We're moving in together this fall, when we are to attend our second year at school. I know that is a big step.. But both of us are looking so much forward to it, talking about it ever so often. Ofcourse we will just be renting an appartment for that year, but.. It will be just the two of us. And a hellota gadgets. Computers, consoles and that kind of stuff. It will be so great! We want to be together forever. Even if we've been together for only two months, I feel like all I wish from life, is for the two of us to be together. I might sound weird, but we both just feel like everything is so right and perfect. Like Daniel said himself, we have found something that everyone is seeking. And I agree. It might sound like some kind of insanity to everyone else, but I have started to believe that this is how it feels when you have met the right one. I know I have. He completes me.
Bah, time is getting late and I have school tomorrow. Got a new animation project going on. We have a month to complete it but it's a lot of work on this one. And today I've been too tired to bother starting with anything else than the story and storyboard. But I'll start modeling the character tomorrow. I promise!

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 19:10:04 GMT

Right now I basicly feel like crying.. I've learned one thing this week in Bergen.. Simply that I don't have a place here anymore. Dad is moving in with Anette in two weeks. I don't have a place in that house. When I come to Bergen again I will have to sleep in the livingroom or something.. I guess being sidelined like this is natural. I'm never here anyway. I've moved out. And so life goes on. And theirs without me. Dad is all wrapped up in this bubble where only him and Anette matters. Robin and Lindy is already acting like siblings. I've only met these new family members about 3 times.. I just feel so incredibly on the outside. And by suddenly not having a place in their home anymore makes me feel even more pushed away. They don't even have place for my stuff that I didn't bring to Tønsberg. So now dad is bugging me about getting mom to fit it somewhere. I'm not included in anything that's going on. Dad doesn't tell my enything about his life. The fact that he thought he had told me they were getting married, and in fact hadn't.. I'm his daughter for fucks sake. He should at least talk to me about how I feel about it and such. But no. I'm just no part of it..
And this summer mom and Leif moved to a new place, and I don't have a room or anything there either. I'm sleeping on a matress on the floor on Leif's office. I have nothing there. Not even a key. Still mom is a lot more including. She remembers everything. Stuff I like and dislike. Dad doesn't do that. At all. Mom tells me everything that's going on in her life. I still don't feel like I'm a part of it. Mom is enthusiastic about everything that's going on in my life. Dad hasn't even asked about Daniel. Am I that easy to push away?

I don't even know if I want to come back during the easter break. Or even the summer holiday. I just -refuse- to be at my parents house and sleep on the floor or on the couch or whatever. And all this leads to a load of selfdestructive thoughts about how I don't belong anyway and they don't need me in their new family.. I'm angry at them, but in the end I feel a shitload of bad things about myself and how I'm not worth anything. I just want to lock myself up in my room in Tønsberg and just lie in my bad all alone.. And go back to old bad habbits to make myself feel better...

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 20:15:47 GMT

Got back in Bergen just a few hours ago! Yays! And Michelle is coming over soon. She probably won't stay for long tonight but we just have to see each other! And it was so sweet to see Lucas again, and him stroking against my feet. He's the best cat there is! He's starting to get fat though.

Julebord! Haha, it was great. Daniel looked so great in his black shirt. Meow! And I got a few complements from people on my dress. Yes, a few incidents when people got pretty drunk. I have to say that Teacher Henning is hilarious when he's drunk. In a good, entertaining way. Martin couldn't keep his hands all to himself there a little while. He was pretty damn drunk, though. I just pushed him away saying something about "what the hell are you doing?". We started drinking at Mats' place about 16.30 and the dinner started at 19.00. The bad thing was that drinks at that place were so damn expensive that me and Daniel, being poor, didn't feel like wasting a lot of cash. So we were mostly sober from 22.00 and the rest of the night. But that was fine really, even though I think we should have snuck something more to drink in with us. And as tradition is, some got so drunk they made asses out of themselves. All in all a great night. Me and Daniel walked the whole way home and my shoes tried to kill my feet. So the last 3rd of the way I had to take them off and just walk with socks on, which was a bit cold and wet. But no snow, so it was ok.

Stayed this weekend at Daniel's place, so I got to meet his closest family. Of course I was nervous. But all in all I think it all went ok. I didn't feel like I made an ass of myself atleast. And they seem like very nice people. Was very crappy to leave him today. I'll miss him lots and lots. Whenever we're not together, I think of him.
Dad picked me up on the airport. I mentioned that I had stayed in Larvik with Daniel this weekend so asked if the relationship was serious. I answered that is yes, and probably the most serious I've had. We'e been together for 2 months, but everything is just so.. right. Dad told me it was just like how he feels about Anette. He hasn't said anything to me about that they plan to get married this summer. I got to know last weekend, from her. I called to ask her a bit about what I should buy to dad for Christmas and then she just started to talk about it like I knew. Or should have known. She talked about how they had bought the rings, and what she wanted us girls (me and her two daughters) to wear. I had to object though. She will -not- get me to wear a brightcoloured summerdress.. She wants me in green, which is ok.. as long as it is deep and darkish. But she said we'll see when the time comes. I didn't see a ring on my dad though, and since neither him or Robin has mentioned anything I think I'll ask my dad in private and just check if it's supposed to be a secret or what. Fucked up secret to keep though.

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 19:44:09 GMT

December 13! Over halfway to Christmas already! And only 5 days until I return to Bergen for 2 weeks. Going to miss Daniel like hell, but I think that time will pass fast as I will probably have a lot to do those days.

I feel like sticking a knife into my stomack and twist it.. I thought I had gotten better from whatever's wrong with it. But suddenly I feel bad again. But I'm not feel nausea anymore. It's just pain. Pain pain pain. Pain hurts. I want it to go away, and it does, but it seems to come back whenever I have just eaten something. But when I don't eat, it hurts in a different way. The "hungry"-way. So I eat food because I know I should.. And then I'm stuck with pain for a couple of hours. I have -no- idea what's causing it. Today at school it was horrible, and all I had in my system was a chocolate Litago. I think I need to get an appointment at my doctor's office when I get to Bergen. I can't take it much longer I think.. And, no, I'm not stressed or anything, so it's not that.

I'm really excited about tomorrow! Julebord! And you know what that means! It means I get to dress up in a pwetty dress, and feel pwetty and good about myself. And everyone else will be wearing pwetty clothes and look cute or stunning or.. Ach, I can't wait. Especially to see Daniel in a nice suit. There is no doubt in my mind that he will be the best looking one there, and I get to be by his side! I'm sure girls will be looking at him. Oh, this is what I get for falling in love with the most beautiful guy in the world. Don't anyone dare ruin my illusions *intimidating look*
I'll be wearing my certain pin striped black dress. Oh you know I love it ~_^

Also, we'll be showing the results of our assignment to the rest of the school tomorrow. It's going to be so funny. We got teachers and even the headmaster at school to do the voice acting. I almost laughed to death as Teacher Tony did his crow sounds and deathscream. Hopefully the movie will be on the school network somewhere so I can get a copy myself.

Well, I have to go and wrap Daniel's christmas pressie into pretty paper. I kind of wish that I could just give it to him before I leave.. But I think it's best that he opens it on the traditional date. I'm very happy with it though, and hope he'll like it. (No, I won't write down what I've got him yet. Who knows who might read it?)

Happy friday!

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 17:40:36 GMT

Woh, new layout! That's what happens when I get bored at school. She's on of the best characters from Angel Sanctuary, my favourite manga. Crazy fallen angel who's in love with Lucifer. Speaking of that, I got book 9 in the mail today ^^ Makes me a happy little Icebuncle!

We got a new assignment at school, though not like before. The whole school got divided into 10 groups, and each group got a christmas card from a company. The assginment was to make the story before, or after, the image on the card. Other than that we are free to do what we want. So my group has made this crazy concept for a story, which we will make a movie of.. starring handpuppets! But the rest will be a mystery for now ^^

Something freaky happened at the bus today. Me and Daniel were taking the bus to Tønsberg, talking about guys with long hair. Mainly how bad it tended to look because they usually don't take care of it so it looks all dirty and stuff. During the conversation I said that "my dad had -this- long hair when he and mom got married." And he says: "That's a bit different, because he has curls in it." And that's about where i just froze for some seconds. And then I asked: "How did you know that?" "What?" "That my dad has wavy hair." I've never shown him a pic of my dad, he has never met my dad... And I can't think of anything that may have made me say what kind of hair my dad has.. -so- weird. But still very cool. I was so amazed. Now however, I think that he could for some reason have thought of Leif in the back of his head when I mentioned dad. And Leif has -very- curly hair. Sounds logical. But not as much fun..

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 21:00:08 GMT

Bah.. I am so incredibly bored right now. And whatever I come up with that cold do (gaming or reading) just seems boring as well. On top of that, I've had this weird nausea for a week now. A week with "my stomack feels weird", "I feel like I might throw up soon", or anything in between. It basicly leaves me stressed and paranoid thinking about what might be the cause. Going to one of those health stations tomorrow after school. And since I'm 20 I get it for free. It's a great system. Even if they can't do anything else but to refer me to a doctor, they will probably have an idea about what the hell is going on. I just don't want to walk around in uncertaincy anymore.
There was a small party at Teacher Thomas' place last saturday. I didn't even know about it before about half and hour before I went. Lucky for me and Daniel, I had bought some vodka on the Tax-free on my way from Scotland so we had someting to drink. Attendants at the party were a couple of guys from my class, and some from 3d animation. Me and Techer Thomas' girlfriend were the only two girls there. It was a fun evening. Lots of joking, some Guitar Hero and fighting. Well, friendly fighting between some of the guys. Daniel actually lifted Teacher Thomas up by his nipples, which left him with very interesting blue bruises. And it turned out to be a big event when me and Thomas' girl started making out. Let's just say a couple of the guys weren't slow to take their mobilephone cameras up. I can't say I'm embaressed about it though. But I kind of expect to be hearing it from -some- people for a little while. After the party we went out, but the guys got scattered all over the place. So instead of going around alone, me and Daniel went back to Thomas (the door had been left unlocked), picked up our booze, and walked home while drinking.
On Sunday we managed to sleep until 14.30. Or, I woke up a couple of times and got myself something to drink and such. The nausea I had felt all week was horrible on sunday. It wasn't like a hangover, not that I've ever had one, but I know how I feel after I have drunk a lot. But it was like that nausea from last week just multipled a few times, like it got worse because of the alcohol. Today I'm better, but still feel that nausea. I'm actually a bit worried about what it could be..

On another note: Holy shit I can't believe it's December 4th already! Time goes by in a "wooosh" like always. Christmas is at hand. I can't wait to get back home to my friends and hang out with them again. And to see the sorely missed Michelle! And William! I've been asked to work a bit this Christmas, at my old job. It is actually tempting, I need the money.. I will call the boss tomorrow and go over the details. But I'm really a poor student this year, so I can't afford gifts for everyone. Just family and Daniel. I hate to tell people (especially Michelle and William) that I can't afford to buy them anything.. Michelle is in the same boat as me so she understands, at least. I do sort of feel like spending everything I have on Daniel though..
I did have a budget, but that went to hell last week as I went to Oslo for a day. Mom had bought tickets for me and Sonja to Senkveld, so we were in the audience as they recorded and episode. The studio was a lot smaller than it looks on TV, but other than that it was great! Those guys are crazily funny when the camera is off too. It was 600kr on one day though, but I'll say it was worth it.
Other than that... not much to say. I spend most of my days with Daniel and at school. I can't wait for The Burning Crusade to be released so that we can game a bit togther. The big plan is to make the first guild raid a drunken raid. There is no thing that's as much fun as combining drinking and gaming ^^ And it's great that me and Daniel has so incredibly much in common. It's so easy to take part in each others lives and just relax together. It hard to explain, but with him it's like we don't need "Ok, so what are we going to do today?". It's just so great to be in each other company. And I can truly relax and be myself. It's.. so close to perfect as I've ever been. And I'm so incedibly happy with him. And the fantastic part is knowing he feels just the same, after having talked about it many times already. It's very uniqe, and just about the best thing in my life, ever.

And everyone should go see the new James Bond movie, because it truly rocks! And I'm addicted to the song. And Daniel Craig is awesome, as well as Mads Mikkelsen. Go Danish!

Dawn

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 15:38:18 GMT

Still at school, and I'm really bored. It's close to impossible to actually focus on my assignment, I have too much on my mind..
I woke up at about 2.30am last night. I had a horrible nightmare and I just broke down in tears. When I lived at home I usually ran in to my mom's room and sleep there. Yeh, childish for a 20 year old to do, but when I wake up in tears I seriously need someone to be there. And I need a hug. But now I was all alone, and I didn't want to freak out Sonja by waking her up. I tried to call Daniel, but his phone was off. I called William, who had just gone to bed so he wasn't asleep. I think I freaked him out a bit, because the first few seconds I couldn't speak, I just cried. It really helped talking to him, and suddenly an hour had passed by! I overslept today of course.. And was exhausted at first at school. But I got to just hold Daniel and lay my head on his shoulder, which was wonderful and something I really needed. Felt much better afterwards.
Daniel left about an hour ago. He's going to a concert in Oslo tonight. Problem is that I won't see him in 5 days. 5 whole days! What is a girl to do? I'll miss him like hell.. I hope he has a lot of fun in Oslo, and I will most likely have a lot to do on my trip. But the thought of not seeing him in so long..
I have mixed feelings about tomorrow. Yes, I'm really -really- looking forward to being in mighty Scotland again. To visit the family and visit some old castles (hopefully). But tomorrow will be all about travelling and waiting. I'm going to be so tired when we finally arrive. Note to myself: Don't drink alcohol after a long day of travelling and small meals.. Last time I did that is something the whole family remembers. *shrink*
So today will mostly be me packing and getting ready for the trip, as well as playing some Kingdom Hearts 2 to pass time..

This weekend was great! Mom and Leif came to school and I gave them a quick tour. Then they went back to the city centre, while I finished the last hours of the schoolday. Met up with them and together we went home by bus. They had done some serious shopping, buying all kinds of things I like or needed. So sweet! They made wonderful beef-dinner. And then we just watched television until they went back to the hotel.
Saturday I met them in Tønsberg again. Got my hair cut, and checked my throat. Also did some foodshopping. Luckily for mom, Bjørn Eidsvåg was in Tønsberg to sign his new album. So she got to meet him and got all fangirlish. Actually kinda cute. She even got pic of them together, and she was sooo proud.
When we got home I got my hair dyed red again and then mom and Leif made another splendid dinner. I had bought The DaVinci Code on DVD so we saw that after dinner. I have forced my mom to read the book a little while back, so it was nice to see the movie with her too. Daniel arrived at the end of the movie, and mom and Leif left shortly after. Oh, and before the movie started, it was announced that Angels & Demons will be made into a movie as well! Yay!
Of course me and Daniel got up late on Sunday, so had to hurry to the bus. The 4 of us spent the day walking to the old tower here, and having a meal at McDonalds before waiting for the train. When they had left, me and Daniel went back to my place, just being downright lazy. Saw Nurse Betty on tv that night (what a weird movie ^_^) and had something to eat. Ended up actually being at school in time on Monday!

I guess I should be getting home to the things that needs doing, but right now Teacher Henning and Thomas is trying out Guitar Hero here. At first I cracked up at Thomas, but they're steadily improving their skills.. Looks like fun ^^'
AND Nine Inch Nails is playing in Oslo in April!! Ammagad, I cannot miss it.. i just can't!

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 14:23:00 GMT

I find myself running back and forth between the classroom and the little girls room. Why? Because I feel like looking into a mirror and check the wound in my mouth. The whole thing puzzles me. I woke up yesterday with a feeling that not everything was like it should be in my throat. I got a bit worried, thinking that I'd end up like Daniel with medicine and pain and whatnot. It would suck to be home from school, and if I got sick right when I'm going to Scotland with dad would piss me off. So I looked in the mirror, and only noticed a swelling a bit back in the mouth. I was very tired, so I could have missed something. But when I got home yesterday afternoon I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror again. And it looked like there was something on the swelled part, a bit of a discolourment or something. I thought it could be related to those white painful thingys I get in my mouth from time to time or something like that. So I put my finger in my mouth to touch the swelling, and when I do I start bleeding. Not very much, but a bit. Today it actually hurts, like all wounds do. I wonder if I should go to the doctor or not. On one hand I think it's not a big deal, as I've had trouble with my throat for a while now (having that damn cold, and the unstoppable cold the past week+), but the fact that I now have a wound in there is not that easy to relax with. I don't understand why I started bleeding like that really. I think I'll just ask mom when she arrives tomorrow.
Mom and Leif decided to live at a hotel instead of in my appartment this weekend. I guess that is ok, but the excuse was so.. stupid. "Leif didn't want to sleep on the matress on the floor with a sleepingbag." Well, excuse me for not living in a villa with spare beds for everyone! And I don't live very close to the hotel, so then they will have to stress with getting to the hotel at night. It's not my problem I know, but what -is- my problem is if they have to leave early because of it and such, then I won't get to see them as much. I'm not angry just a bit frustrated. It's so typical of them to always think of themselves first.. I'm looking forward to spending time with them, so I guess the thought that it will be a bit more.. stressing than I had thought (I had imagined sitting with them and talking and such until the late hours) kinda affects me. Bah!

Gravity of Love is probably the best lovesong of all time, by the way.

Dark

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 14:22:46 GMT

Just because this is how I feel -right now-...

But I have no idea what is pulling and tying me down. I feel... a sort of hollowness.. And I have this strong desire to draw something. Just to get stuff out. I wish I could draw wings, but I can't. I wan't to draw something tied up and bleeding. Something dark or disturbing.. Or something that just makes you think like that. But I just can't. I just don't have the talent. Instead I'm browing works of others that appeal to that side of me. It's like it just comes out and takes over sometimes, when it's been away for a while.. I think I need some time alone with a pencil and some paper. Maybe some more notes for "Sanctus" will be the result. Or maybe I'll actually finally manage to draw something..

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 20:10:15 GMT

Who would have thought that school would get so boring? I mean, not boring-boring, but... Just not as fun. Texturing and lights and shadows.. I know it's important but it's just.. Not half as fun as modelling. But I'll just have to get through it. Our new assigment is about realism. Getting a simple model to look as real as possible. I'm so not working on it as much as I should.. We don't have to be done until Nov. 24. I'll probably be lazy until the last week and then I'll have too much to do.
Another factor is the simple fact that Daniel hasn't been there for two days. That's what happens when you fall in love so totally like that. It's even my fault (or, no.. But maybe). Because I had a cold, and then he got it from me, and now he's home with a really soar throat. Even got penicillin from his doctor! Hopefully he'll be back on thursday.. I miss him. A lot. It will be great when he comes back though.
I'm actually looking forward to the expansion to WoW now. I did a bit before but I was a bit neutral. I didn't have any big plans. Sure, it would be fun to explore new places, and to try out both Draenei and Blood Elves, but nothing big. Daniel is making a new guild when the expansion releases, consisting mainly og Blood Elves. So basicly it will be starting all over again, just on the horde side. Today I signed up on the forum. My druid will still be my main, and my old guild will always come first. But I really look forward to Burning Crusade now. I'm going to be a Blood Elf mage, and it's going to be so much fun to play with Daniel and get to know new people! So now I'm really excited about the expansion, and my future in Wow.
Mom and Leif is coming to visit this weekend, so I think tomorrow will be a day full of cleaning. I have to make -some- impression that I'm not totally lazy. Will be nice to see them again, and of course to get some free food ^^

Quzzies!

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 13:25:14 GMT

Got a bit carried away when Dimple gave me link to two quizzes..

You Are 58% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.
Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

You Are 70% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

Your Lust Quotient: 57%

You are definitely a lustful person, but you do a good job of hiding it.
Your friends would be surprised to know that your secretly very wild!

How Much Lust Do You Have?

Your Passion is Brown

You are both a sensitive and sensual lover.

Warm and deep, you are tuned into the needs of your lover.

Verbal foreplay is crucial to you. Words can make or break your mood.

For you, sex is a 24 hour a day thing - you can't separate it from love.

What Color Is Your Passion?

Hmm, I hope that means that to me sex and love belongs together.. Because that I believe.

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause.
You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them.

Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

Your Power Color Is Teal

At Your Highest:

You feel accomplished and optimistic about the future.

At Your Lowest:

You feel in a slump and lack creativity.

In Love:

You tend to be many people's ideal partner.

How You're Attractive:

You make people feel confident and accepted.

Your Eternal Question:

"What Impression Am I Giving?"

What's Your Power Color?

Well, don't know about the lowest part. At my lowest I feel insignificant and unimportant and such..

You Are A Realistic Romantic

It's easy for you to get swept away by romance...

But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective.

You're still taken in by love poems and sunsets

You just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

Your Love Style is Eros

For you, love is all about the passion!
And chances are, you're currently in love.
You have a strong physical response to love...
And you are great at committing
(As long as the person makes your toes curl!)

What's Your Love Style?

Your Element Is Fire

Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame.
You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out.

You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable.
You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go.

Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive.
Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many.

What's Your Element?

Monday morning

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 13:50:06 GMT

Had a perfect morning today. Waking up next to someone I care a lot about. Then decide not to bother get up early. And when finally getting up, I make myself a big cup of warm tea and read the interview with Carlos Bernard (Tony Almeida) in 24 Magazine.
We got to school around 12.30. Walking there is was raining a little. But I didn't care at all. A little shy rain can be good sometimes. Reminds me of home.
I'm repeatidly reminded about how much I like my class.. All those small crazy things and friendly gestures.. I just try to feel as happy as I can right now..